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I have never in my life felt this much pain, and she's still here, she's still snoozing on the floor like nothing is any different than it was yesterday. Only it is...
Yesterday she was going to the bridge on Saturday. Yesterday I had time, even though I really didn't because I'll be at Mountain Hounds in Gatlinburg starting tomorrow. Yesterday it wasn't real.
Today it is real. She's going to the bridge tomorrow. I sit here and I look at her there and it HURTS. I feel so guilty, she has no idea what is going to happen. She is going to be so happy to go in the car with her Daddy tomorrow night.
I just feel sick. Yesterday it was a dull ache. Today there is no air.
I love you baby girl. Please forgive me, for not being there tomorrow night...for doing this to you...for not doing more for you...for selfishly wanting you to stay...how will I know I've overslept? How will I know that the A/C is on too high? How will I know it's time for doggie dinner?
What will I do at 4:30 on Monday, when no one barks?
What will I do without you?
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